Day Six: The Angel of Amsterdam

I often look for answers in the clouds. My eyes would wander the sky in search of an angel.

When the phone rang I was crying tears of sadness. I took a deep breath, got myself together and answered. My old friend greeted me with her soft voice and asked me how I felt. I hesitated for a second.

Then stuttered the words: “I feel okay”.

She sensed something was off and repeated: “How are you really?

This time I answered truthfully: “I feel pretty bad because of the things happening in my family.”

“Your brother, right? That must be rough. I understand." she said in a soothing, emphatic tone.

I nodded without making a noise.

She continued and opened up about her on fathers diagnosis:

“A while ago my dad was also diagnosed with a disease. He would not tell any of us in what I believe to be fear.”

“Fear?” I mumbled.

“Yes, fear. Fear of not being there for us. Fear of worrying the family. Fear of potentially leaving the earth, not being the man everyone can rely on.” I know it must be hard for you to be looking from the inside in and feeling helpless about the situation but remember it is okay for you to feel and to share your own emotions with your friends. Start venting. Go, go, go!”

I started ranting. Minutes turned into hours, hours into days. Seasons would change while the waterfall of words streamed her way. The eruption of emotion buried her just like the citizens of Pompei. The seasons changed again. An odyssey not many could withstand. Yet, my friend stood there bravely. I kept going and going and going, then silence.

“Do you feel better now?” she carefully asked.

“Yeah… I actually do. Wow… I can't believe it but wow… Thank you so much!” I replied awkwardly.

“You got it.”

We would end the call and for the first time in a week I sensed a calm that has been lost in the last couple of weeks.

Knowing that I can share not only the good but also the bad with my friends gave me peace of mind and my problems and sorrows seemed much farther away. Now, whenever I need an angel, my eyes don't go up in the sky but to Amsterdam.